


The One where Emma Says "I Swear it Was an Accident"

by hannahhoppers



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, mentions of domestic violence, mostly not canon, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 00:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8868655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahhoppers/pseuds/hannahhoppers
Summary: “Killian, I’m so sorry… I swear it was an accident! I’ll fix it, I’ll—” “It’s okay,” he said, lifting a hand. Not forgetting the previous subject of her thoughts, she flinched. If she wasn’t mistaken, a lightbulb cracked a few feet away. His gaze snapped to it, then back to her. Lips parted in shock, he knelt beside her and took her hands in his.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning, this isn't very good. I started it last summer and only just now finished it. I couldn't do that much salvaging. I'm sorry in advance.

Michael had been a bad person. She knew that now, but when she was 22 years old and he made her feel like more than an orphan, more than an abandoned teenager in prison with a child she couldn’t keep, she was oblivious to the fact. In exchange for the pampering, for the compliments, for the fancy dinner parties where she rubbed elbows with high society and played the part of the Barbie doll, she was constrained to an existence of dark sunglasses, bandages, and concealer. (And covering them only made him more mad.)

They’d been together for a year, about to get married, when an HR-paid counselor pulled her aside at work and explained that there were resources available to help her get out of the relationship. For two months, she stayed at a battered women’s shelter, before taking off on a search for her birth parents. 

Ten years later, she was in the captain’s cabin of the Jolly. As they packed up the things Killian needed to bring to their house, she found a case full of gold coins, all with slight variations in pattern or design. Michael had collected coins. 

She hadn’t thought about him in years, but at the sight, she began to recall the months she’d spent with him. Absentminded, she backed into a table. The next thing she knew, a ship in a bottle was falling, falling, shattered. She spun, gasped, and sank to her knees to pick up the pieces. The ship was snapped in two. Distantly, she heard footsteps.

“Killian, I’m so sorry… I swear it was an accident! I’ll fix it, I’ll—” 

“It’s okay,” he said, lifting a hand. Not forgetting the previous subject of her thoughts, she flinched. If she wasn’t mistaken, a lightbulb cracked a few feet away. His gaze snapped to it, then back to her. Lips parted in shock, he knelt beside her and took her hands in his.

“Emma…”

“I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous.”

“Why’d you flinch?”

“It’s nothing, let’s just—”

“Swan, it’s clearly not nothing. Talk to me.”

“I was thinking about a bad relationship I was in a few years back.” His eyebrow cocked, disbelieving. Realizing how it could’ve been misconstrued (a douchey ex had her acting like this?), she clarified, “he was abusive.” The eyebrow dropped. His face flashed back and forth between rage and sympathy before he schooled it into neutrality. Voice level, he asked,

“Who was he?”

“His name was Michael. We met right after I got out of prison.”

“And he hit you.”

“Yeah.” 

“Why’d you stay with him, love? How long were you…”

“A little over a year.”

“Why? You don’t seem the type to put up with that.”

“It’s because— he wasn’t just some one-dimensional Disney villain. It was deeper than that. I really cared for him, thought he cared for me too. And he made me feel so special and everything. I was always rationalizing, explaining why he hit me. Maybe I’d said the wrong thing, or forgotten to load the dishwasher, or maybe he had a really bad day at work, you know? I didn’t realize what was happening until this guy from HR got me some help.”

“Swan, it doesn’t matter the circumstances, to lay a hand on a lady is bad form. If I ever meet this Michael…”

“I know. Last I heard, he’s still living in Phoenix. That’s about as far from Maine as you can get.” He closed his eyes, gave a brief nod. 

“Are you okay?”

“I think so. Let me just…” She waved her hand and the pieces of the sculpture put themselves back together. He pulled her to her feet. “Let’s finish packing. I want to get home.”

“Aye, love.”

Within a few hours, they had a handful of wooden crates ready to be brought to the house. David and Henry swung by to help cart them over before heading back to the loft to allow the two to christen the place. 

Not much christening occurred, the pair too exhausted from going through a large pirate ships’ worth of things. Lying together in their pajamas, she touched his hand to pull him out of thought.

“Is there anything you want to know about… those days? You had that look in your eye.”

“Aye, but I don’t want you to have to relive that. Clearly it wasn’t a happy time and it wouldn’t be fair to make you dwell on it to sate my own curiosity.”

“It doesn’t bother me much, anymore. But that time did help shape me into who I am, and I think you’ve got a right to know about it.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I barely remember, to be honest. I think he knocked into me at a grocery store or something. He asked me out and we started dating pretty soon after that.”

“And when did it start?”

“About four months in. He shoved me out of his way while I was making dinner because he wanted to get something out of the fridge. I laid my hand on the stove.” The pirate sucked in a breath, as if he were the one who’d been burned. “Things just escalated from there.” 

Only now did her eyes begin to fill with tears. Voice thin and quivering, she recounted as much as she was able, up to and including the night he almost strangled her, how she was with him for another two months after that. Killian clutched her close. Their breaths began to line up— he breathed out, she breathed in, she breathed out, he breathed in. Their chests moving back and forth, his push to her pull, the movements completing one another. His fingertips smoothed over her scalp, over and over again in a gesture that should’ve been uncomfortable but instead tethered her to earth. Eventually the torrent cascading down her face slowed to a trickle.

“Are you alright?”

“I think so.” She took a deep breath, wiped the rest of the moisture from beneath her eyes, and nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“It’s not a big deal, Killian.”

“Yes, it is. It was clearly difficult to talk about and I’m glad you were able to put that trust in me.” She smiled. “And if I ever say or do something that upsets you, or reminds you of something you don’t want to think about… talk to me, Swan. Aye?”

“Yeah. And the same goes for you too.”

“I know, love.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to make a statement at the end of this: 
> 
> It's bad form to lay a hand on anybody. 
> 
> I wanted to make that part of the message, but Killian is a character who believes in gentlemanship and that is associated with the protection of women. His focus would be more on protecting women from domestic abuse, although men and nonbinary people are also victims and need protection too. I'm not saying that chivalry/gentlemanship is inherently misogynistic, but there is sometimes a correlation. Hook is actually a really interesting egalitarian character (I reblogged this post about that: http://hhopp.tumblr.com/post/155006961719/hook-is-not-misogynistic) but I felt that in this literary situation, he would've said "to lay a hand on a lady" rather than "to lay a hand on anybody."
> 
> This has been a PSA. :)
> 
>  
> 
> I don't own the show or the characters, so I'm playing with them. Adam and Eddy have such nice toys. Unbeta'd. Kudos and comments if you enjoy!


End file.
